Ah ha ha On This Day is really the gift that keeps on giving!
Past Self. I remember that spin class… the instructor looked like a buff Adam Sandler and you wore an outrageously overpriced loose v-neck athleisure t-shirt and a Primark sports bra which meant that Billy Madison up there spent most of the class watching your boobs jump up and down like a pair of kittens playing ‘pop goes the weasel’ on cystal meth.
It was a rush for sure. You even threw up in your mouth a little in the changing rooms afterwards and swore you’d found your fitness ‘thing’. But here’s the thing – you haven’t. You’re not going back. Not now, not ever. Cancel your gym membership now and cut off the direct debit. Repeat after me: I WANT TO QUIT THE GYM
You’re fat not because you just had a baby. You have gained weight because you are stressed and exhausted and because your thyroid is effed and the combination of those factors and the relentlessness of your insane and thankless job is causing your adrenal gland to burn out and you to stuff processed food and alcohol in your face to numb the pain.
Here’s a detox plan:
Quit the gym and don’t forget to tell your bank because those thieves will keep taking the exorbinant fees from your account for months. Enjoy your post-baby body and your baby. Before you know it she’s going to be going to school and you’ll regret all the time you could have been with her and weren’t. Cleanse yourself of the belief that you’ll be happier when you are thin. It is bullshit. You’ll be happier when you love yourself more. Quit your job. You deserve better than how you allow yourself to be treated. Stop giving until you have nothing left or you are going to have a nervous breakdown.
You will lose the weight when you treat yourself properly. When you put your health first and when you are in love again. Then you’ll gain it all back and more for another baby. There will be days that you’ll stare lovingly at your utterly fabulous pre-baby wardrobe and briefly consider another diet you won’t follow or another gym membership you won’t use because you are just too damn busy leading your best life as your best self to commit to something that makes you feel ‘not good enough’. You are enough. You have enough. You are stronger than you think. Buckle up baby, you’re in for a bumpy ride but it’s all gonna be ok in the end.
With love always,